Prayers

I have been stressed and just all over the place. I wanted to find peace and understanding with myself now that I am not working.

I lit all the candles on my altar and lit incense that all agreed on. I prayed to them. It’s been forever since I officially sent prayers and thanks, but I felt that I needed to. They answered my silent prayers for help finding a cheap house, and now I’m going to live in a place that is 1/3 of our rent now. It’s a relief and I couldn’t be more thankful that they answered me. 

I spoke to them and it wasn’t awkward like I thought it would be. I mean, I can just astral travel and speak with them no problem. I felt like it was more personal and meant so much more. I placed a special pen (Venetian glass, hand blown, dip pen) on the altar and asked that they help me find my muse, my creativity. To keep busy on the down times. I promise to dedicate the books to them, which will be interesting come time to publish.

I could feel a difference immediately the next day. I felt lighter and more positive. I feel like I can finish my books and now inspired to write more!

My love goes to you: Thor, Sedna, Bast, Kurai, Skadi.. 

Godly Feels

Im having such feels in regards to the deities that I work with. In some way, I am wanting to delve deeper into the world of devotion. This scares the ever living shit out of me.

I grew up Catholic. I grew up Roman Catholic. If that doesn’t explain it right there, then I can’t help you understand just how damned lost I am.

What the hell am I supposed to do? How do I work with them? How do I devote time to them? How to I work? Do I pray? Do I.. what? I’m lost and really don’t know where to go with this. I wanted to journal my way through this new thing. But will it stick? Can I stick to being more religious/spiritual? I hate religious term usage, mainly because people assume that if you are religious, you want God and the Bible shoved down your throat.

How can I tell people that hey! Your God royally screwed me over as a kid, I don’t want to hear jack shit about the “gentle and caring” God. Because what God lets their faithful deal with bullying, sexual assualt, and all other shitfests that cause severe emotional and mental trauma at the age of 7-9. The age where you don’t understand why your God won’t help you out or listen to you.

I’ve come to peace… not really. I really have respect that people believe in God and Jesus and the Christian faith. My mother is now Greek Orthodox. That shit makes more sense than Catholicism! And she at least doesn’t try to steer me from my devil path to the path of light and love and blah.

God, I feel like I’ve been keeping all this bundled up. But that damned fear from when I was a child.. it’s passed on to now.

What if my Gods that I love and want to work with.. what if they do the same? When I need them, will they be there for me?

The answer is yes. I’ve never had my deities tell me no. I’d have to work for what I asked for as a payment, but they still did it for me. I can call upon Thor at any time to help me when I am scared or when I need his love. I can call upon Sedna for her strength and emotional support. I can call upon Bastet for the love of a Mother, for confidence in myself and my abilities. I can call upon Kurai’iana to help me heal from pain and to feel the cooling touch of someone who can help me heal and grow. I can call upon Skadi, whom I’ve barely worked with, to be the backbone when I can’t stand for myself.

They ALL have come to my aid, when the Christian God left a child to fend for themselves and never answered. I have no love for Him. Only respect because the God my Mother loves, answers her.

I want to journal my learning and devotional things, but can I post them here? Can I truly be so open and honest with what I’m learning?

The truth is no. I can’t. There is not a privacy to this. I can share things that are relevant, but I cannot share the magic and the lessons they teach. The private moments of the Leanel Harvest, the marriage ceremony between myself and Thor. I’ll keep this updated when I can, but I know that there are so many things to add that I can’t share here because it’s too public.

Which way should I go? Should I create a new WP that is private? Should I do a Word Document? Where?

The hardest part is starting and I have to make a decision. Where do I start?

New Year’s Tidings and Wishes

This is the year’s passed of lessons and hard learned ones at that. Of survival and confidence, trust and love. 

This coming year has much in store and I am so happy and loved by my deities, my family.

This is for our bonds of friendship and love.

This year I truly want to delve more into my practice and my spirituality. This year I want to devote more to you, my family.

This year is going to be beautiful and amazing, in reward for doing so well this past year. 

To the new year, tidings and blessings. To the love of the new.

Skaði, Your Wild Hunt

Skaði, the Winter Goddess

The Goddes who Hunts and Skiis

The Goddess who has taught me much this year.

May your Hunt be blessed and I shall be with you as your Healer and Follower.

I am not devoted, but you have my love and loyalty. 

May your Hunt be fruitful and glorious, shall you enjoy this glass of honey wine for your victorious Hunt.

My Huntress, Goddess of Winter. This is your season, may it be beautiful and wonderful.

Official Skaði

The officially meeting was much different than what I had experienced previously with the other deities that I work with. Granted, two of those ended up through a ritual of some kind, so that’s not surprising that a ritual is how Skaði came to me.

I sat in the yard of my house, in my sacred space.
I’ve gone there before to meditate and to think away from things.
I’ve spread out energy and burned it to the ground, my own protection sigil in center.
I kneel within the center and can see a portal build up in front of me.

Skaði, Goddess of the Mountains, of the Snow, of Winter. Jotun Goddess, I ask of your presence.

She appeared before me, the frost and ice forming from the portal and spread along the ground. The first to come through is a boot covered foot, in the traditional pelt clothing. It was a medium brown color and she was wearing a light tan pelt leggings. When she stepped out, I was not surprised to find that she appeared much like the image above, but there were key differences. Her hair was the color of fresh snow, of the silver of the mountains. She was garbed in stiff leather clothes trimmed with fur the color of snow and rock. The striking part was that her skin was a light blue with tints of the white. It was a subtle color change from white, but definitely there.

She spoke to me and I spoke to her, though words have been long forgotten. My mind shifted and turned as I sunk into a deep meditation from within the Astral. When I awoke my balance was off and I could not walk straight. Even now I feel like there was significant progress, but what I am not sure of.

I will continue to give her offerings to see where things might lead. I still contemplate the buying of a gorgeous statue for her. But for now, it will remain as it is. Offerings and connecting.