Prayers

I have been stressed and just all over the place. I wanted to find peace and understanding with myself now that I am not working.

I lit all the candles on my altar and lit incense that all agreed on. I prayed to them. It’s been forever since I officially sent prayers and thanks, but I felt that I needed to. They answered my silent prayers for help finding a cheap house, and now I’m going to live in a place that is 1/3 of our rent now. It’s a relief and I couldn’t be more thankful that they answered me. 

I spoke to them and it wasn’t awkward like I thought it would be. I mean, I can just astral travel and speak with them no problem. I felt like it was more personal and meant so much more. I placed a special pen (Venetian glass, hand blown, dip pen) on the altar and asked that they help me find my muse, my creativity. To keep busy on the down times. I promise to dedicate the books to them, which will be interesting come time to publish.

I could feel a difference immediately the next day. I felt lighter and more positive. I feel like I can finish my books and now inspired to write more!

My love goes to you: Thor, Sedna, Bast, Kurai, Skadi.. 

Kurai’iana and Sedna, Of Growth and Libation

I’m going to write more about what I’ve done in overall with them. Talking has really soothed my feathers, so to speak.

I want to do something for each of them, as a way to really kick off this path. Today, my mom was replanting her tomatoes because they were too big for the containers and it’s too wet to plant them in the ground. I spoke with my Family before doing this, as I wanted their input on beginning this deeper path.

In turn, Kurai was pleased that I wanted to help with the growing of her (my mom’s) tomatoes. So she took some of the dirt and I did automatic writing where she blessed my hands and palms with a growth sigil, so that the plants grow strong. I’m going to draw it up later for my personal journal. The picture is most of the plants we repotted. 

The soil was new, so the plants had to be watered. A good friend of mine mentioned their own devotional practice of libation. I had to look it up to understand what it was:


I’ve done this before, during the Wild Hunt for the Norse pantheon. I gave them wine.

Today, I was able to pour life-giving water in honor of Sedna and the life she gave to the mammals of the earth. (Mythology is of the seals, whales, dolphins, etc.)

I feel super happy in that they accepted their devotions and devotional time with pleasure at the act.

I feel that there is more to come, things that are bigger and more to do for them. But as my good friend says: baby steps.

Godly Feels

Im having such feels in regards to the deities that I work with. In some way, I am wanting to delve deeper into the world of devotion. This scares the ever living shit out of me.

I grew up Catholic. I grew up Roman Catholic. If that doesn’t explain it right there, then I can’t help you understand just how damned lost I am.

What the hell am I supposed to do? How do I work with them? How do I devote time to them? How to I work? Do I pray? Do I.. what? I’m lost and really don’t know where to go with this. I wanted to journal my way through this new thing. But will it stick? Can I stick to being more religious/spiritual? I hate religious term usage, mainly because people assume that if you are religious, you want God and the Bible shoved down your throat.

How can I tell people that hey! Your God royally screwed me over as a kid, I don’t want to hear jack shit about the “gentle and caring” God. Because what God lets their faithful deal with bullying, sexual assualt, and all other shitfests that cause severe emotional and mental trauma at the age of 7-9. The age where you don’t understand why your God won’t help you out or listen to you.

I’ve come to peace… not really. I really have respect that people believe in God and Jesus and the Christian faith. My mother is now Greek Orthodox. That shit makes more sense than Catholicism! And she at least doesn’t try to steer me from my devil path to the path of light and love and blah.

God, I feel like I’ve been keeping all this bundled up. But that damned fear from when I was a child.. it’s passed on to now.

What if my Gods that I love and want to work with.. what if they do the same? When I need them, will they be there for me?

The answer is yes. I’ve never had my deities tell me no. I’d have to work for what I asked for as a payment, but they still did it for me. I can call upon Thor at any time to help me when I am scared or when I need his love. I can call upon Sedna for her strength and emotional support. I can call upon Bastet for the love of a Mother, for confidence in myself and my abilities. I can call upon Kurai’iana to help me heal from pain and to feel the cooling touch of someone who can help me heal and grow. I can call upon Skadi, whom I’ve barely worked with, to be the backbone when I can’t stand for myself.

They ALL have come to my aid, when the Christian God left a child to fend for themselves and never answered. I have no love for Him. Only respect because the God my Mother loves, answers her.

I want to journal my learning and devotional things, but can I post them here? Can I truly be so open and honest with what I’m learning?

The truth is no. I can’t. There is not a privacy to this. I can share things that are relevant, but I cannot share the magic and the lessons they teach. The private moments of the Leanel Harvest, the marriage ceremony between myself and Thor. I’ll keep this updated when I can, but I know that there are so many things to add that I can’t share here because it’s too public.

Which way should I go? Should I create a new WP that is private? Should I do a Word Document? Where?

The hardest part is starting and I have to make a decision. Where do I start?

Leanel Returns

That time of the year has come around again, where the Spring Harvest is apparent. My Goddess has not been around, but I’ve learned that the Spring Harvest is in part for the crops, but also for Her Awakening. It’s to signal that she is ready to return from the Winter’s Cold.

Returning back was like being welcomed as an old friend who came home from a long time away. It has been the longest and hardest of the months, but it will smooth out. The coming of the crops for them is bountiful, but She returns with something different for me. Crops are the way of life for the Kolemaia, and [unfortunately] money is the way of life in our physical world.

I walked into the colony where the Kolemaia had settled permanently. Haek greeted me and this time was much different. Instead of staying with him and his wife, I helped with the fields and the ritual fastings. During the time off, the community pitched in and gave me the honor of creating a small hut for my use when I stay. They made it much more lavish that I asked them to, but they insisted, as it is repayment for my kindness all these years [still]. By the 7th day, my hut was complete and now the next five days are spent helping them plant and sow the fields. There is twice as much as the previous year, mainly because they are helping to support their community and the ones that take part in our world.

The fasting serves two parts, one to prepare the body and ready it for the ritual and the other is to cleanse it. Each day, you must go through a cleansing ritual [bathing].

I’ve reached the twelfth day, where they have gifted me the blessing of receiving my next two sets of piercings. Two are on the neck, one each side. The next set is on the corners of the shoulders, where the arm joins with the torso, right above there. It was painful, but it was worth it. They aren’t the rings like the others have, since Im not able to wear the chains like that, my skin is too fragile. Although, I still have the breast piercings and the chains for that. I wore them for this season, glad to have never taken them off. It’s comforting, like I can return home to them and know that I belong, no judgement, just love.

Afterwards, I volunteered to begin the women’s ritual, starting the Awakening of Her.

“Great Goddess Kurai’iana, Bearer of the Kïlranï Plant. You bring about the change of the plants, green and growing. You bring about the crops and the plentiful harvest. May your Blessing bring about the bounty of our People and our land, so that we may serve you and those we feed. May your Blessings be heart and soul, for all the new times have bloomed. Come Awaken, Great Maiden, join us in the dance of the sow and plow. Dance with us in the falling of the pods and the sprouting of the seeds. Dance with us between the green growth and thrive with the Nectar of our People. We give ourselves for this Blessing so that we may prosper during this season and those of the next.”

Each woman went after that and completed the ritual, leaving me for last once more, where I complete my portion of it. This closed the ritual and we joined back at the main statue of Her.

When the community joined together, we began the final ritual, where Haek and his wife spoke as one.

I’ve learned two new epithets: Bountiful Beauty and Bringer of Change.

I have not met the Kolemaia standing in front of me, but the Dance of Life that we partake in is natural and feels as if I’ve done it every day of my life. After we perform the first part, we begin again. The energy has awoken and I can feel it pulsing. When we reach a certain point, another couple begins the same Dance, then another after them. We we reach a point, the females (including me) are thrown to the air where the rituals energy bursts. It’s much like having an orgasm and your energy pitching and building up. When I land in his arms, we move back as the Goddess appears.

“Brightest Blessings to my People. Bountiful Blessings to the crops in which you sowed. Change has come and the green sprouts again, the Nectar flowing of golden honey. The Dance of Life, Livening the Harvest. You have brought about your love and your work to bring to me the Life. You may receive the Bountifuo Blessings, for you may receive back all the you have worked for since the Harvest ended. Your work shall be rewarded and your crops shall yield the plentiful of the bounty. Come Dance with Life, bring about the Change. My Blessing encompass you all. Go forth into this Harvest with the biggest of dreams and they shall be fulfilled. So have I spoken, So have I said, and so it shall be.”

I cannot stay long as I am still working through things and have to do real life, but it was a welcome kindness to be able to participate in one where I do not need healed, but can begin a new ritual as they have always done.

New Year’s Tidings and Wishes

This is the year’s passed of lessons and hard learned ones at that. Of survival and confidence, trust and love. 

This coming year has much in store and I am so happy and loved by my deities, my family.

This is for our bonds of friendship and love.

This year I truly want to delve more into my practice and my spirituality. This year I want to devote more to you, my family.

This year is going to be beautiful and amazing, in reward for doing so well this past year. 

To the new year, tidings and blessings. To the love of the new.

Mournful

To my devotions,
I am mournful of how little I have spoken to you.
I am fraught with the material world’s issues.
Yet, you continue to stand strong.
Yet, you percieve me as still being Yours.
Yet, you still urge and praise me for things of the Material.
I wish I could be the strong one that you seem to see.
I cannot see it yet.
With you guidance, I hope to be successful in more than just the Material.
I have devoted your Space and flourished it with my love.
We will speak soon.
With All My Love,
Your Daughter

Blood and Sweat

Today I spent the time in the garden. It took awhile to remember, but when I did, I dedicated the work to Kuria’iana.

The garden needed weeded, about a quarter of an acre. It took three of us to get most of it done in 5 hours. Right after dedicating, I sliced my hand on a piece of glass in the dirt. So it bled a fair bit, but I did it. It was nice to do something for Her for once. Since She is not known to the Earth myths or people, it is hard to get anything representing her.

I hope to devote to Her soon.